about world peace

I, like all Ms. America's before me, think that world peace might be of some use and have been endeavoring along those lines to come up with a plan. Mine really doesn't involve any photo appearances, makeup or vaseline in wierd places. I have some basic steps though.

1. Everybody in the world is ordered to get a good night's sleep. No bells from church steeples, no call to prayer, no bus rumbling by or motorcycles backfiring. Some people may need those things to sleep but i think a sound machine or cd would do the trick. Its those odd, inconsistent noises that are really troubling.

2. Everyone in the whole world has to have 3 squares and a snack every day. Now the squares can be based on local taste. The folks of the midwest can have whole wheat bread, meat, vegetables and some ice tea. The folks in Africa can have ugali. The people of Asia can stick with rice and fish. Maybe people want veg dinners. Fine, so long as it is balanced and filling.

3. Everyone in the whole world has to be regular. Yep, I think people get testy and grumpy when they are irregular and that is a problem for world peace. So everyone eats a piece of whole wheat toast, or an apple or something.

4. For a week all of the people that need medicines, get them free for a week. With good dr. supervision and clocks to make sure its administered on time.

5. No one is allowed to hit or fight. Kids, parents and world leaders included.

Now, everyone is rested, regular and well fed. Now they can begin to think without their bodies giving them trouble. Its hard to think when your sinuses are full or you could have used an hour more sleep or you need a sandwich. The best thinking isn't done then. And I think the problems keeping us from finding a solution stem from the fact that a few world leaders aren't functioning up to par.

How is it that I could figure that all out without the help of a bikini?