Saturday, April 17, 2010

nesting but not really

We couldn't be happier about expecting baby #2 sometime in the fall. Really, we're very happy. But we have a problem. We've kind of forgotten about babies.

We had @ in Aug 2004 and returned to what we thought was going to be our permanent home for years to come. We brought stuff with us so that @ could grow up there. Not expecting to return to the States for probably 4 years. So we brought along baby stuff, toddler stuff and even some young boy stuff. No kidding, when @ was a new born I bought him one pair of pajamas in every size up to 5T (by the way, I should start out with, I'm kind of nuts and I like to have a something like a plan). He just started wearing those 5T pajamas. After our idea was closed down in Dec 2005, and we returned to the states we were sad. Sad. And to some extent I especially went inside myself and mourned the loss of our home and our dream and our family. And I wondered how we could be a family without our home because I couldn't imagine ever really finding a home like that again.

But time and life went by. We picked up what we had and pulled together and our family was still our family, just different than we had imagined when @ was born. And I learned that home really is where you make it and it can be remade. Home is where my boys are, and we've made a nice one here. And we're thankful. There isn't a day that goes by that we don't sit at our dining room table and say "I love our home". We have friends again and people who care about us. There are crazy neighbors and kids to play with and a garden to weed and a laundry line (I love laundry lines). By no means is the house perfect. The street floods and the roof leaks but still its where we are happy.

Now that we have been here 3 years, we're getting ready to take some time to go home. Jonathan is going to switch jobs and we'll need new visa etc. so its a good time to go back to the states and catch up on our family there. Its all very exciting. We have 3 nieces at present that we need to meet and there is another niece/ nephew yet to be determined arriving just about the time we arrive home (yes, that did help us choose when to come home). My mom's accidentally remodelled her house while we've been gone. All of these things. And in looking at our full life and the happiness that we have been given a second time, we thought maybe we could have a second baby to fill life even more. And God was gracious and we're 3 months in. All good and all wonderful but there is a fly in the ointment. We don't know anything about having a baby.

We return to the states in just over 2 months as a family of 3. When we return here sometime next spring, it will be as a family of 4. So I'm cleaning and sorting and organizing our house for the person who will live here in the meantime and I'm realizing a hiccup. The baby doesn't come for a long time (1st of November is really a ways away) but the baby comes HERE just as soon as we do. So I need to leave this house with some readiness to have a baby in it. Does that make sense? Probably not. I'm not worried about the baby stuff for the states- we have loads of time once we get back there to figure that out. But the baby stuff we need here, I need to do/ get now so that its ready when we get back here. I know it sounds like I'm creating a mountain out of a mole hill. I know. And I think its the idea of going back to the states is more the problem than the baby. We've never re-entered the states nicely. When we re-entered the states last time it was as this huddled sad mass of sadness. I think having the time to think ahead and plan has probably made me a little addled.

All of this to say, if you can think of something I should have ready in my home for 6 month old baby, would you let me know? I've got "crib, sheet, bumbers" on my list. Oh, and that's the other problem, I'm trying not to bring everything and the baby sink in a suitcase back from the states- that's going to get spendy, fast.
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