Over the last month I've had stories to tell. Lots of them. Stories of being the mom of a infant again. Of watching snow. Of watching @ become a real boy all the time- he's a nice boy but there is very little left of him being a young child. Of enjoying days laughing with my husband. Of realizing that our time in the US ebbs and flows- somedays we've been here an eternity, others its a blink of an eye. Of making new friends and hearing there stories and collecting them (I do kind of collect people).
I think I'll tell the story of naming baby !. Her middle name is Irene. I knew when we found out that I was pregnant that her name would be !. It was a certainty. I knew that God had told me her name because it was the story we were living. We were living our year of !. We've come to a place where we are well settled. We've been provided for in so many ways and we have been restored. And I knew we should celebrate that. Her middle name came harder. With @ we had thought that if we were having a girl her name would be Irene Ann but @ was a boy. So we tossed around both Ann and Irene as middle names for a girl named !. Irene is my grandma's name and Ann is the family middle name. Ann was a problem however. Her name would be prone to the nickname LeeAnn and I'm not a nickname person. I didn't want her nicknamed LeeAnn because I want to hear her name all the time and be reminded of the specialness of her name. But Irene seemed like a lot for a middle name. I didn't want my grandma's nice name getting lost behind baby's first name. That would be too bad. But really nothing else felt very right too me and I'm a believer in names singing themselves into existence. When you've found the right name I really do believe its irresitible, like there is a choir from heaven the resonates the name's rightness for that person. That really is how we chose @'s name. So we hemmed and hawed and finally ! Irene was born.
And here is where you find out just how self centered I am.
I hadn't really thought about my grandma's reaction to hearing we had used her name as great granddaughter's middle name. I think maybe some months ago I might have given a fleeting half second thought. That was it. My grandma is getting older faster. It seems that age has finally won the race to catch up with her. She's lost a fair amount of ground over the last two years. She's in a nursing home now and I don't know that alot of days she understands and remembers things. And its hard to think of a once active and alert lady declining. So it didn't occur to me that 1. she would remember me and 2. that I had a new baby. And I was ok with that for the most part. It is what it is, its sad but its the course of life. Anyway, my mom called my aunt and my aunt while visiting with my grandma told her about new baby. And my aunt said that grandma suddenly became clear. She heard her name and she knew that name. "Well that's my name." And that was special to her and for a bit she was clear. So I sent my mom around with pictures of baby ! and @ to take to grandma. But what surprised grandma and my aunts is that grandma has remembered about baby !. "Did you know I have a baby named for me?" she tells people. Its something that has stuck in her head and its been awhile since something has really stuck in grandma's memory. Its baby! Irene. And that is very nice news to add to the year of !.