Things I've Done Right: my teapot

I get a little down on myself every now and again.  Lately I’ve had a tough go of feeling like I’m making good choices.  It’s ok.  You have good days; you have not as good days.  But there are things that make me smile.  Things I can see that I’ve done right.  Today it’s my tea set. 

This last summer we went to China.  I knew when we talked about going and the opportunity came up we HAD to do it.  We’re good savers and so the money of getting there wasn’t an issue.  We would be with friends so they would help with the logistics. Getting visas was way too complicated for a 7 day tourist visit but I’m glad we did it.  While we were there we saw all of the touristy things- the stuff you’re supposed to see.  The Great Wall, Tiananmen, the Forbidden City, etc.  My mom was coming to visit us in our country just a bit after we got back from China and I thought getting my mom some kind of tea would be just the thing- you know “All the tea in China.”  So one afternoon while we were roaming the city we went into a market.  We needed milk and fruit for our hotel room.  You can buy cherries in China, I was obsessed.  But I thought while I was there I would watch and see what other ladies were buying in the tea stalls and I would buy some of what they were buying.  A friend had already given me some pointers on how to buy tea in China.  1.  If you like the smell of it, you’ll probably like the taste of it.  2.  Bigger is better when it comes to tea leaves.  When the tea is all diced up, you’re probably getting second skimmings.  So with my pointers and my long held belief that if you find a woman you think you look like, sometimes you’ll shop like her too; I was ready to buy tea in China.  Well I went into a booth and started smelling.  I had pretty well settled on a leaf from my mom but the shop lady wanted me to sit and try to the flowers.  Chinese tea shops are full of flowers.  Lovely bins of dried flowers.   And I have no idea why.  So the lady heats up the kettle and begins putting flowers in a glass tea pot.  Then a lump of rock sugar.  Then she fills it.  And ooohhh… the flowers come to life and swirl and dance.  Instantly ensorcelled. So I’m sitting and somehow I’m chatting with this woman in my not Chinese and her not English and our points and signs.   And she warms the teeny cups and the tea swirls.  And she pours out a little cup for me and a little cup for her.  And we’re two ladies sipping a spring meadow together.  No kidding.  Jonathan comes around with two over tired kids and he doesn’t want to sip tea he wants to go.  But he sips tea and now Jonathan is sitting in the meadow with us and the stains on !’s dress are just cherries from a funny man in the market who filled her pockets and @ isn’t fidgety, he wants to play tea too.  And so I bought tea flowers and the lady went through the recipe with me 3 times, teaching me what I had just bought because the Chinese take their tea seriously and the lady didn’t want me to just buy tea, she wanted me to appreciate her passion.  So I learned my Chinese numbers and words for my tea.  She wanted me to buy the pot (which I’m sure was necessary for the complete meadow and for her profit margin) but my cheapness got the better of me.  I did end up buying a tea pot later in the airport with the extra bits of money we had in Yuan (and it was cheaper than her pot). 

While my mom was here we got out the tea pot and played tea on several occasions (not enough for my mom).  And my mom did it just right, something about those flowers dancing in the hot water and we were all schoolgirls.  Just giddy at playing tea.  The only problem with this tea pot is that as high as it takes you when you are watching the tea steep and pouring it into glasses, you really don’t want to let the tea pot be empty.  There is just a little tinge of regret when you realize that it’s time for playing tea to be over.  The flowers are finished for this go around.  The good news is that I bought a lot of tea flowers.  And so we have more times of play to come.  And I have a promise from my friends in China that they will buy me more tea flowers when I have need. 

Moral of the story: I need to remember to take my tea box down from the shelf and make a pot of flowers. 

rainbows and a breakthrough

I'm obsessive about water.  Not having water makes me crazy with worry.  When we lived in Africa we had water one day a week, most weeks.  That wasn't drinking water- that was whole house washing, bathing, etc water.  We were blessed with a house that had a ton of water tanks. Huge water tanks.  But if you aren't sure that the water is going to actually come on Saturday like it is supposed to then you need to make sure that every drop counts.  So normally I'd fill buckets with laundry water to mop the floors with.  We washed dishes once a day and laundry was done when the water was flowing.  Jonathan and I learned to bath in a bathroom sink of water. 

Anyway, 7 years and a continent difference and I'm still obsessive about water. Generally I can't make myself stop.  So wasting water is a big no no in my house.  The house we have now gets city water every other day- for the most part.  We have a large outside cistern and then 2 water tanks on the roof.  For the water to flow into the outside ground cistern it has to be turned on and then turned off or the water will flow all over the ground (again, making me nuts).  And then we turn on the pump to take the water from the ground cistern up to the roof tanks.  The roof tanks give us water pressure throughout the house.  So most mornings, I start the day by opening the front doors and going out to check the cistern and turn on the water.  I go out later to turn it off. When I see that the cistern is pretty well full, I face a crazy lady dilemma.  Do I 1. Turn off the water knowing that the cistern isn't full to the brim but is more than satisfactory.  or 2.  Go back inside and wait anoter 15-30 minutes to let the water go all the way to the tippy top because you never know.  or 3. Stand around on the front porch for a few minutes pulling weeds in the flowers, wrestling with my own crazy obsession and waiting to get a few more minutes of water.  Yeah, its normally 2 or 3.  But today, Today, it was #1!!!  This, people, is a serious crazy lady breakthrough.  And clearly I'm still obsessing, I just wrote 2 paragraphs on water. 

We've had a few hard days this last week, full of worry and feelings of hopelessness.  But guess what God did today.  A rainbow.  No kidding, a great big beautiful rainbow.  Actually it was a double but the second part didn't show up well in the pictures.  I went out at dinner to obsessively turn off the water and I saw it.  I was able to turn off the water with a little less anxiety tonight because of the rainbow.  The light went really quickly though.  It had been raining most of the afternoon and the sun only came out to set.  But there it was.  A rainbow for the soul asking for hope.  So thankful

honestly

The thing is, I had honestly forgotten how to log in to the blog.  No joke.  We've kind of had this wild swirl of activity in the last 7 months.  Undefineable ups and downs.  Serious downs with some peaks really.  Then the computer crashed- which is the high tech version of your dog eating your homework.  And here we are.  Good news, apparently my resurrected computer and my new start page from google really want me to blog because it puts it front and center and somehow I'm already logged in- which is probably a security problem. 

So let's start for today. I've had this stomach ick for about 3 months.  And its the burping, I'll save you the details but I could make high school boys fully loaded with carbonated drinks blush.  I sound awful.  So I've been flipping through my head and my diet and my diet isn't great.  I just need to do better.  The months of highs and lows have been months of highs and lows in the diet too.  I cook a ton but I'm baking more than I'm stir frying.  Meatless Mondays have become "I'll remember that next week."  I have started green smoothies and I think that has staved off worse problems.  I'm going to try to buckle down a little this week, buy some brocolli and tempeh and make a stirfry with rice. 

We've also been kicking over every rock we can find for a visa.  Now, folks, visas for us are like kryptonite, we can't touch them but they strip the life right out of us.  I'm praying for some serious long term victory in the visa department but I'm clinging to hope.  Its never good to be skin of teeth on hope. 

Oh and we moved.  We moved about 10 times in the last 7 months to be exact- no kidding.  Several of the moves were shuttling between hotel rooms.  The next 6 months looks to be more of the same, less hotel rooms hopefully.  But probably a whole house move. 

So welcome back to disconnected blog chatter, I've missed you.

China Southern plays chicken

This summer we traveled out to China.  We were going to see friends and had decided this was the time to take that one once in a lifetime trip.  Do the Great Wall, the Forbidden City, temples- all that stuff.  We booked with China Southern from Jakarta through to Beijing.  We got ! a seat.  She's not yet 2 (only 18 months at the time) and we've learned that more than 4 hours is really hard to lap sit.  You can't take the money with you but you can choose to spend it on therapy or an extra seat.  On our way there China Southern failed to impress when they left us sitting on the tarmac on the plane for 5+ hours and then filled the plane with more people.  So uncool.  On the way home they failed to impress when they canceled !'s seat.  We had 4 seats  and they had given us that middle aisle row of 4 seats- perfect for a family because no one else has to be disturbed by my kids.  They sold !'s seat to someone else and he was now sitting in between me and my son.  Needless to say, Mom got mad.  The attendant kept telling me that I didn't book that seat, until I showed him my receipts and itinerary.  Then he said but its not booked now, she doesn't have a seat.  To which I explained that he could "hand me a $1000 and it wouldn't be her seat anymore but until then she was a ticketed passenger with a paid seat.  Find another place for this nice gentleman."  And he did, but not without coming back and trying to guilt me by telling me she actually isn't booked.  I got home and found that an hour before the flight my yahoo account had recieved an email telling me that her seat had been cancelled.  Pretty cheeky I thought given that China didn't allow me access to my yahoo account the entire time I was in country.  

 All of that huff and guff to lead into this story about American Airlines bouncing kids around the plane with hopes of parents paying fees.  China Southern did this one too.  With @ sitting 5 rows ahead of Jonathan and I and ! sitting 10 rows back.  @ is now 8 and a hard core traveller, we had no worries about him so long as he was on the plane with us.  ! is again pretty small but if they really think that is a good idea- I double dog dare them to sit her away from us.  No problem.  At check in they saw what was going on and reseated us before we even asked.  Blinked!  I'm not really that sassy but I won't blink either when it comes to airlines being obviously stupid. 

As it turned out @ did end up sitting by himself on at least one leg coming home.  It was great.  Jonathan and I had ! between us.  @ sat between two gentlemen in front of us.  We talked with them.  Introduced @.  Helped him get situated with his things and understanding the entertainment guide.  Asked what kind of juice he'd like and chicken or beef.  Then we left him be, which he loved.  He watched a few movies and the men sitting on either side would smile when @ got to laughing at his movie.  They were happy to let him in and out and I was proud to see he said "Excuse me" and "Please".  All told and excellent leg of the trip.  But @ is a rare bird. He's been around the block a bit and I wouldn't recommend doing this for the 5yr old going to Disney World. 

Shame on you airlines.  Way to loose the family friendly vote.

Irrepressible Hope

Some years ago I went with my mom to a Women of Faith Conference. The theme was "Irrepressible Hope". It was fine. The conference was fine. Mostly it was a chance to spend time with my mom and worship together and laugh together. I don't get a lot of those opportunities living a 12 time zones away. But we got t-shirts and so any time there is a chance to get a t-shirt I'm there. I love free t-shirts that say I've done something or been somewhere. I'm easy that way. My t-shirt happened to be huge and only got huger with time. I don't know why. So mostly I slept in it. And because I have a tendency to do the bulk of a day's work in my pajamas, it got pretty scroungy looking. Not something to wear out in public anymore. I got on a wild tear one morning and started painting the living room before I was out of my pajamas- it happens.
When we were last home, mom went through her old t-shirts, which were all nicely folded and I believe she may have ironed some of them, and gave me a pile. Mom isn't a t-shirt wearer but she knows I love them. Lots of School Social Worker shirts that display my love for children and humanity. A little cheesy but that's what you get when you're a t-shirt wearer. She also had her Irrepressible Hope shirt. I swooped down on it. Hers fit right which was an added bonus. I've found that over the years, on particularly dark Jonah days, I'm inevitably wearing the Irrepressible Hope shirt and I'm reminded that I have an Irrepressible Hope. It can't be quenched. It can't be stopped. Hope the tirelessly pursues.
This morning I saw the latest Kony 2012 video and I was reminded of Irrepressible Hope. I was also flipping through Easter blogs. And I was reminded of Irrepressible Hope. Love died for Irrepressible Hope. Love rose again for Irrepressible Hope. We are freely given Irrepressible Hope and all we have to do is receive.
Atticus and I went to swimming lessons the other day and I find it a weekly struggle. I love swimming. @ loves swimming. He has a great teacher. But without fail something comes up thwarting swim lessons. Rain. Schedule conflicts. The pool randomly and without notice being cleaned. This particular day it looked like a monster storm was on the brew. And we went towards lessons anyway. Miracle of miracles, a whole lesson in. Right as we were leaving we had a dozen sprinkles and a huge rainbow came out of nowhere. Irrepressible Hope
And a promise. Not a promise that swimming lessons will happen. Not a promise that the dinner guests will show on time. Not a promise that bad men will be captured. But a promise that Love will hold us steady and firm. That Love died so that we could have Hope but such Irrepressible Love that death couldn't hold it. Because Love is a Living Savior of Hope. And that kind of Hope is irrepressible and begs to be given away.

Happy Easter

What we love

We here at curious aside (and by "we", I mean "me"), love smart people. We love them. I'm crazy about smart people. And smart people come in all shapes and sizes. If you're thinking I'm running around with MIT and Harvard, think again (but I do on occasion chill with a NASA scientist. Can't run with her, she's too fast). The world is full of smart people. People with know how in strange situations. That see a tree down on the side of the desert road, realize that could be useful for some people near me, and decided to stop and cut the tree into manageable bits to haul it to the people. Smart people who realize I can't afford lumber for a table but I can buy pipes and they build the pipe table. Smart people who see the need; see their talents and gifts; and say "I can effect change." I love that. I love people who love people, want to help people and move their love to action.
So one of my favorite groups of people Compassion International told me about another one of these smart groups of people Sevenly
and you know what happens next. I love the smart people at Sevenly. This week Sevenly is helping Compassion to provide treated mosquito nets to families in Rwanda. If it was possible to roll chocolate and coffee into that mix that is what heaven would be. Healthy African families and me drinking coffee with chocolate bread- that would be heaven. Back to the point, I had never heard of Sevenly before but I predisposed to like them because Compassion likes them. So I set my fingers to the walking and went through their website. They send $7 of every t-shirt purchase to the charity of the week- this week that is Compassion. I checked what they say about themselves, what other people say about them and what their annual report says (we like honesty and clarity here at Curious Aside). They're a for profit company that likes to give money away so they don't have to be held to that non-profit standard of administrative costs vs. actual giving to a need. There are a lot of non profits that pull in a lot of money and not a lot goes out to the need. But if we're talking about a for profit, the rules are different. So out of a $22 shirt, $7 goes to the charity of the week. That's not great math for a non profit but its stellar math for a for profit.
Why not give to the charity straight away? Good question. And that is the point they're trying to make. Sevenly wants to raise awareness of charities you and I haven't meant yet. They want to push those charities into light

So what should you do? Well you get to choose. 1. Maybe you want to just get a feel good t-shirt. So you go to Sevenly.org and you spend $22 and get a t-shirt. 2. But maybe you say, "I love children and the thought of a kid sick, hurt, or doing without makes me crazy!" So you go to Compassion.com and you read through the site (because you're smart and want to be well informed) and realize these Compassion people understand kids. They've thought through how to help families become stronger families; how to help kids that are sick, hurt or doing without be safe, educated and loved. And you sign up to sponsor a child. That last link is for you. Compassion is going to throw in a t-shirt just for sponsoring a child.

Hey, we here at curious aside like you too. Because chances are pretty good that you're going to join the ranks of smart people because after you start thinking about a hurting world, you're probably going to start thinking of ways you can move to help and we LOVE that! Thanks!

I’m inflexible

I've long labored under the belief that I'm rigid. Situations calling for flexibility are just not for me. And walking into those situations I pray hard because I can't just drop everything and let it go. I don't go with the flow. I did this internship when I was a senior in college and they talked about the need for flexibility. Things might come up and plans change at the last minute. You have to be ready for that. That is how the line went in the predeparture training. And inside myself I cringed. I don't do things like that, why am I here? This is so not for me. And the internship actually went pretty according to schedule. Craziness ensued in the plan but everything that we were scheduled to do and take part in really went off fine. So I was for the most part ok. The culture transition was a bear but then when isn't cultural transition a little less than pleasant. Still it was ok. I was ok.

When I got married, in the pre-engagement counseling, we talked about flexibility. You know living with someone. Other people are a mess of inflexibility. You have to work together to get a marriage and that takes flexibility. Well, my darling Jonathan already knew I was the most inflexible person on the planet, so if I made the overture of bending to 45 degrees I think he would have been astonished. And our first few years of marriage went off swimmingly. We had @ and I began to raise him to be a rigid rule follower and we were ok. We got kicked out of a country and that was probably the first real knot I've ever been in. Really terrible experience for the inflexible because that would certainly not be the plan (it's an unplanned life change).

Now I had a minute to survey the landscape of life today at a stoplight. The car was quiet and the world was humming and it was 4:30 and I looked at the day and saw what all had gone on. I flipped through my daily docket sheet in my head. Then I flipped through the week. And in a glance I thought, I'm not supposed to be able to do this. I'm inflexible. I don't change. I have a plan. But the calls at the gate, the tutor spending a few extra minutes for conversation when people need naps and school, ! racing outside to the dirt after I had changed her to go out, my neighbor coming by for an hour visit as I was cleaning up lunch and readying @ to finish up school, catching up on the phone with a friend, the swim teacher calling to cancel- after I've left for the lesson, impromptu decisions for school . And I'm not angry or in tears. I'm in a fine mood. Perhaps at some point while I was slip sliding through life I twisted into a pretzel while juggling a nice marriage and 2 squirreling kids. And perhaps I didn't hate it. Perhaps it was life happening and I'm awfully thankful.