I didn’t know I was getting into another controversy by having a baby. Before you have kids you have this idea that babies are pretty uncontroversial things. You feed them, change them, snuggle them to sleep and that is all there is too it. But there are all of these gadgets, systems, feeding methods, changing methods, schedules etc that no one tells you about when you announce this new baby. So presently I’m embroiled in controversy.
Just so the world knows, I’m a babywise parent. If you don’t have kids, you don’t know the true power and thrust of that statement. My sisters-in –law turned me on to it. Between them they have 5 kids that are lovely. They were by and large easy babies. The oldest is 6 and she is a gem. I know many will say that wanting an easy baby is selfish but who wouldn’t want to be a happy confident parent. The baby might just pick up on my happy confidence and be happy and confident himself.
The just of this whole babywise thing is trying to have baby become part of the family. Basically the idea (as I see it) is to get baby on a routine so that baby sleeps, eats, and plays to a rough schedule. Ideally baby will be sleeping nights as soon as he is developmentally ready and family has an easy transition of adapting to a new person in the house. At least this is how I’ve used it.
I recently bought the second book and on doing a little homework while buying the book found out that essentially the same book is published as a curriculum (probably for church’s to use as a Sunday School class for parents) with scripture. The curriculum is called “Growing Kids God’s Way”. Personally I think the title is a little fishy, this guy really thinks that this is God’s personally approved system of raising kids- doubtful.
So found out that this is like the world’s most controversial way to raise a child. Did I know this? Absolutely not. So I spent a little time the other day doing a little reading about this whole Babywise/ GKGW thing, reading what that masses had to say- via blog- of course the most reliable source. Walked away feeling like an incredibly terrible parent. Spent Sunday trying to keep my kid from crying. Of course this just so happened to be one of the days when his teeth were going showing no mercy. He doesn’t have teeth yet but the getting them is horrible. Between the teeth and the little insecurity complex he has been going through, Sunday was spent holding, trying to cuddle him; in general making up for feeling like an absolutely awful parent for allowing him to cry himself to sleep on occasion.
Trying to recover from a guilt complex that I hadn’t had until I read I shouldn’t have been happy for the last 9 months. Who knew? @ seemed to be getting on swimmingly. Monday it seems that @ is a happy baby again. Teeth have let up on him I suspect. He spent the noon hour rolling around the living room (into the hall to the entry) and playing happily by himself. Then he let me rock him until he was ready for a nap. Go figure.
Living with a kind husband and 2 bewitching smaller people. Remembering everyday what it is to be blessed beyond measure.
4 comments:
the key of parenting (like there's really only 1 key...or that I have even discovered it) is learning balance. At 4 and 6 years old, it's figuring out when to laugh, and when they need to be trained that rolling their eyes at their mother isn't acceptable behavior.
GKGW/Babywise can be taken to an extreme that I think was probably never intended...I don't know the Ezzos and don't know their private motives for writing the stuff...but the basic ideas of becoming a part of the family (not the center), learning to trust your parents to do what's best for you, being respectful and obedient, have all been important for our children to learn and for my own sanity.
We don't live by the book...we put our own "spin" on it (maybe that's why we're having problems with a kid who rolls her eyes and talks back?!)....but it's worked for us.
You're great parents. Use Babywise if it works for you and keep listening to God...he gave you a brain, so I'm pretty confident that you won't turn into a Babywise Nazi!
funny story about all this: somebody wanted to do a babywise class at our church. I looked into it, found out that there was massive controversy surrounding it, found out that it's been real divisive (how the crap do you spell that?) in some churches where people got convinced that it really was "God's way," then found an article by James Dobson saying it wasn't good. Basically, I found a lot of criticism about it, and no response from Babywise. So I emailed them and asked about it. They sent me back a VERY defensive email, and eventually ending up saying, "we don't feel like we should have to defend ourselves." I decided not to participate in the class because I knew I couldn't go into it without having a bad attitude.
IRONICALLY, before Jonah was born, Jenn and I read this great book called....um....ok, I have no idea, but it was by Supernanny or some other British Nanny-type (no joke). It basically said the same thing that Babywise does--teach your baby independence, get him on a schedule, love them a lot, etc etc.
We did most of that stuff and it was great.
Too bad it was pretty much Babywise, heheheh. The irony is overwhelming.
The long and the short of it is that Jonathan and I have decided to go back to the original method of parenting. Read 4 different books of opinions on how to raise a kid, here from everybody we've ever met with a kid, and then go with whatever we think best regardless. My guess is that is how we were raise anyway, and we aren't that screwed up (for the most part).
Original method of parenting? Like Adam and Eve? I don't think I've read that book yet....I guess that really would be Growing Kids God's Way?!
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